Post Thanksgiving digest

Christmas hot on my heels!

Hi friends,

The holidays are upon us and when families come together there will always be opinions on what, why, and how.  My sister Bert (short for Roberta) and her husband Fuzzy (no they aren’t Muppets) host Thanksgiving every year and it’s a day eating that we all look forward to it.  There’s anywhere from 16-20 people at the table - a mix of cousins, sisters, in-laws, nieces, nephews, etc.  We are pretty traditional with the menu, but we try to incorporate new dishes every year.  Bert keeps notes.  That may sound micro to some of you but it ends up being very helpful the following year plus it’s fun to review and laugh about it.  One year I was so excited to make a fall/wintery salad with squash and pomegranate seeds and nuts.  Sounds great, right?  Post note: not many ate this. A devastating blow but I recovered. After much trial and error we find the traditional menu works.  It’s a starch fest and we love it and while we still may introduce new ideas occasionally we pretty much stick to classics. 

Another family tradition is roasted filberts. As long as I can remember our family had a big bowl full of these magical nuts at the holidays. They are utterly addictive and I have to pace myself because I have trouble stopping!  A filbert is a hazelnut.  Sometime in the 80’s they decided to rename filbert to hazelnut but I have always known them as filberts. When I was about 5 or 6 years old I would sit next to any relative willing to crack them open for me and I would hoard them like a squirrel until I was ready to eat them.  They aren’t easy to find in grocery stores outside of the holiday season, but you can order here and eat them all year round!

After dinner we set out the desserts and play games. It’s always fun until the volume increases from everyone talking over each other that we resort to yelling. Or are we already yelling?  Is this just an Italian thing?  Please share.

I took notice that the consumerism frenzy began with a bombardment of Christmas decorations AND music before we even entered the Thanksgiving zone. I always remembered the hype starting after Thanksgiving on black Friday. I feel as if I’m being whipped into a shopping frenzy where there is a real fear of missing the deals! I come from a long line of deal enthusiasts.  My Mother would never consider dining out without a coupon. Two-for-one was her middle name.  My sisters have inherited this trait but I seem to be the “adopted” child who does not share the same zeal for a deal.  It’s not that I reject a deal, but I don’t go to the ends of the earth to get one. I do however know a couple of relatives who will - sorry sissy’s but I’m outing you here!  My sisters are on high alert and scanning the circulars for deals on a daily.  A typical call or text exchange will go something like this: Joan or Bert: “Where are you? Broccoli rabe is on sale at ShopRite!” Bert or Joan: “I’m at Home Goods and will swing by and pick up.  How many do you want?  Text Jane (our cousin and fellow greens lover) and let her know”.  Another moment of proof was while out shopping with Joan my oldest sister when she realized that an item she purchased had a coupon she didn’t use.  I think it was something like $2 off and she went all the way back to redeem it!  I thought it helpful to mention that she would likely pay more in gas driving back to get the $2 off to which I received a side eye look that clearly spelled out: shut it!

I do love a good shopping trip with my sisters during the holidays. Let us loose in TJ Maxx and we disperse like honey bees from the hive and then regroup to review the items in our carts. Sometimes we yell out to one another which no one in the store appreciates I’m sure. So now that Christmas is on top of me I decided to make most of my gifts. I’ll share what I end up creating in the next post, but it will likely be some kind of food stuff and or collages.  Several years ago we decided as a family to forgo gift giving (we used to pick names from a hat at Thanksgiving) and instead choose a family from Safe Futures, a women’s center for domestic violence and sexual assault in Southeastern Connecticut. We are assigned a family from the center and we split the list amongst the sisters and nieces and fulfill their wish lists. This new tradition really gets me into the Christmas spirit. My heart swells knowing that a Mother and her children will have something to open and enjoy on Christmas morning.  This year everyone picked a family member so I am splitting the wish list for the 10 year old boy with my niece Ana.  I hadn’t even had a chance to review the wish list before I noticed a text coming in hot from Joan offering to help us shop since she and Bert were already done with their list.  I said sure and within an hour she had purchased everything on our list and sent the amount to split.  You see what I mean about the deals. It took her an hour. I’m still stunned, but appreciative.

I’m grateful for the traditions we’ve created in our family.  There was a time where I wanted to change it up and introduce news ideas because I wanted something different and complained about the same old same old. Maybe it’s about getting older, but it seems I’ve come back to embracing the traditions and look forward to them. Maybe the opinions I held didn’t hold after all and the simplicity and comfort these traditions matter now more than ever?

I’ll end this post with a quote that I will repeat to myself throughout the holiday season and beyond. It’s an important reminder, especially right now.

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” — Audre Lorde

I hope you all have a joyous holiday no matter what you do or where you are.

Love,

Nancy Jo