Back at it

“There is nothing permanent except change” - Heraclitus

Hi Friends,

You might think I forgot how to write. Clearly, I’ve ignored this newsletter repeatedly and sometimes I forget I even started one!  I left Mississippi in late March and landed in Providence RI where I have chosen to reside. I’ll move into my lovely apartment on June 1st and I’m beyond excited.  I miss cooking in my own kitchen and I dream of unpacking and putting my home together. Providence was always my plan. It ticks off a lot of boxes - friend community, excellent food scene, arts and culture, nature, bike trails, and easy access to airports and train stations. One of my big fears about leaving NY was finding a place where I could get all of the above.  My new neighborhood (Fox Point) reminds me so much of Brooklyn. I can hop on my bike to ride along the water or take a 7 minute walk to get groceries, visit local restaurants and shops and nearby friends. It’s just perfect!

I’ve learned so much on my southern sabbatical. I remember a time when being unsettled would create so much anxiety. I feel stunned sometimes that I actually left NY after 34 years and decided to wing it.  It was a great opportunity to make lasting changes in my emotional life and really lean into a sense of freedom.  I tried writing about my emotions but it wasn’t easy. I haven’t been able to articulate my feelings onto the page, so I just didn’t write about it, and likely why it’s taken so long to publish this post.

I’m always searching for ways to find truth and meaning in life and for opportunities to improve and heal myself. Of course, I am in a strong position to do so - single, no kids, etc. I realize my own choices put me here and it’s really not a bad place to be, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy breezy either. It’s hard to sit with feelings and not overthink.  I’m an action person and when there’s no steady action I immediately turn into an overthinking person and overthinking leads to paralysis. These past few months have brought up so many hard emotions I thought I had tackled long ago. It feels like old lessons with a different delivery system. Good news is, I can chart my growth and can see where I went wrong and made mistakes and i’m grateful for them even if they make me cringe!

So, while I’ve been culling paragraphs here and there for this post, I also compiled the list below in a new format.  What’s in. What’s on. What’s around.

What’s in my Bag: I’ve written about the contents of my purse/pouch in this newsletter before and wanted to share a new addition. The Birdie is a personal safety alarm that’s small enough to fit in my pouch purse. I love my lady knife, but I seriously doubt wielding my small pen knife no matter how sharp she is, is going to protect me.  I initially purchased the Birdie because I was driving alone quite a bit in Mississippi and I wanted something for protection - side note: pepper spray, brass knuckles, and tasers can be purchased at Craft City in Natchez. This loud little device is efficient, LOUD, and compact and comes with a handy key chain. I like that you can pull the pin like a grenade and a blast of noise is released.  I also think this could be great if I was confronted by a bear.  Not likely, but a bonus!

What’s in my Bookmark tabs: I first saw Human Garage on instagram and was immediately intrigued because it’s something I could do on my own. The name is a little wonky and the group vibe felt a tad bit cultish, but after watching and trying some of the moves on instagram I went to the youtube channel to see more.  Fascia work is powerful and in my case provided instant relief. Years ago I did the Rolfing series which was really intense! My acupuncturist has used the Gua sha technique on my back and shoulders as well, so I’m familiar with the work. I recommend you start with the 15 minute reset. It’s easy and feels great.  Try it out and let me know how it feels for you.Sidenote:  Before I tried the moves above I was relying on the Tens device. The Tens (Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) is a small rechargeable battery-operated device with wires that connect to sticky silicone pads that attach to your skin.  You choose the area on your body that needs attention and then you can pick the appropriate settings for your pain level. The device sends out small electrical impulses directly to the pain area.  It feels tingly and relieves pain immediately (at least in my case).  However, the Human Garage guy says no bueno on the Tens! I think he’s particularly discouraging it because you become reliant upon it quickly.  The fascia moves are better for long term results instead of quick relief for pain management.

What’s on my Plate:

Protein protein protein! I’ve been trying to get it into every meal and snack possible.  Healthy choices are always preferred but occasionally they are not - think burger and fries. The only way that works for me is to prepare my own meals.  Once I get good food in my system consistently I notice I don’t have cravings for sweet stuff and larger portions. A new snack I’m into (apologies to my veg/vegan friends) is Brooklyn Biltong. It’s a beef snack folks and I love it. As their site describes “ Biltong is not unlike beef jerky, but also not like beef jerky”. It’s air dried grass fed beef and it’s tender and delicious.  Yes, it has shit tons of sodium so that’s a huge factor for many, but I wouldn’t recommend it for everyday consumption.  I especially like it for travel. I’ve been on the road a lot lately and Biltong is perfect for when I’m hungry and want a protein snack that’s filling and satisfying. Side note: The American Heart Association recommends 1500 mg per day for most adults, so definitely factor that in when you scarf down the whole bag, because you will if you’re a meat eater.

What’s in my Mug:

I’m a one cup a day coffee drinker.  I like it in the morning, hot and black with a bit of coconut sugar. For a while I was on a kick of grinding my dark roast beans with a single pod of cardamom for flavor and of course the health benefits. So when I came across this gemstone at New York Shuk I jumped on it. Kafe Hawaij is a Middle Eastern blend of cardamom, ginger, cinnamon and clove for your coffee or tea as well as for baked goods (also check out the savory companion called Hawaij).  I LOVE this flavor in my morning cup in addition to the many health benefits which may include antimicrobial properties, anti-inflammatory, improve digestion, regulate blood sugar and improve heart health.  It’s warming and delicious and not at all overpowering. While you’re at it check out all of their products.  I purchased the Matbucha (slow-cooked tomato condiment) with Olives and Mint and will report back on my findings.

What’s in my Pantry:

I stumbled upon Onino Crispy Chili at a little boutique in Red Hook a couple of years ago.  I was surprised to see it amongst the vintage clothing and objects. That was then…. Now Onino is online and I encourage you to add it to your pantry stat!  The flavor is sweet/hot/smoky and the Marcona almonds, shallots, and fried slices of garlic make it magic in a jar.

What’s in my Kitchen:

This flat wood spatula is in heavy cooking rotation. I originally pulled it off the give away table when I was working at Bon Appetit and it’s one of my all time favorite tools.  Lucky for me the name of the maker was burned into the wood.  My original is still going strong (with regular mineral oil maintenance), but it’s nice to know I can order another if I need to.  Get it. It’s great.

What’s on my Mind:

Change. And I’m literally in the thick of it.  As mentioned above, I won’t be moving into my new apartment in Providence until June 1 and until then I’m traveling around from place to place. Not optimal for a Virgo, yet here I am.  All of it my own doing.  I’m used to change.  I grew up adapting to all manner of change, so I know how to do it, but why choose it?  For me it’s what I know and I have faith in my ability to figure things out and make any place comfortable. Leaving NY was my way to light a fire under my own ass and break out of old patterns in my life that weren’t working. That’s not to say I have eliminated all bad patterns, but I’m working on it.  It’s exhausting yet I am committed to my plan.

What’s in my Heart:

Boundaries!  That seems like a strange term to have under the “heart” heading, however it’s the very thing my heart needs and wants.  Like many, I’m an over-giver/fixer type.  It has always been a way for me to feel loved.  When it started to become tinged with resentment I knew something had to change. I needed to figure out how to love myself instead of searching for authentication outside of myself eg: people pleasing/fixing. It’s hard and by no means have I mastered it.  One way I’ve found to be successful is taking 30 seconds to think before I react.  In that 30 seconds I have a choice and it’s mine to make. It’s especially powerful for me who has trouble taking the slow approach to anything.  Speed and multi-tasking has always been my superpower so the challenge is real. It works the more I apply it to all relationship situations. It’s taught me how to slow down and listen and I feel so much better and calmer.

What’s in my Gut:

Tudca (Tauroursodeoxycholic Acid) is bile acid derivative. Full disclosure: I have always had a sensitive digestive system and finding solutions hasn’t been easy. Long ago my acupuncturist diagnosed me with a sluggish gallbladder so I lunged at the chance to learn more about this supplement. The gallbladder stores bile, produced by the liver that helps break down fatty foods. Here’s a full breakdown of the many benefits beyond the gallbladder: https://bodybio.com/blogs/blog/what-is-tudca I’ve been taking 2 capsules a day for 3 weeks now and my digestion has improved remarkably.  I take it with my biggest meals - usually breakfast and lunch.

What’s in my Cart:

I love oysters, preferably raw, small, and briny.  Of course I’ll eat them cooked as well, broiled with a thin shaving of shallot and butter or seasoned breadcrumbs.  I have never gone to the fish market and bought oysters to eat at home because I’m intimidated by the shucking. I’ve tried but I’m not good at it.  A recent visit to a friends home changed all that. My friend Martin keeps a a small stockpile of fresh oysters in his fridge and eats  2 or 3 a day.  I am determined to get on this program not just because I love to eat oysters but because of the specific health benefits for my osteoporosis. Packed with rich minerals - calcium, zinc, copper, manganese, and D, as well as an excellent source of protein! Martin uses this amazing tool . The pointy end fits into the top of the oyster shell and then you just give it a slight turn and voila, it’s open! Joy to the world!  If you love oysters get it in your cart and check out!

Thanks for reading and I look forward to writing my next post from my new home ❤️

Love,

Nancy Jo